Rabelaisian vs Globalism

Some characters who are or were Rabelaisian:
God, Jesus, François Rabelais, Donald Trump, Scott Adams, Weatherlawyer,

Only those I know of.
I was dragged out of bed at 12:20 pm today. I had severe cramp in the inner thigh of my left leg, something I don't know how to handle. I found it best to crouch with the leg open at some 45 degrees, YMMV, as I made my way to my sodium bicarbonate tablets. I know that if you don't ease the cramp immediately you risk damaging the affected part for some time.

Get the organ cooled and once relieved, keep moving gently -DO NOT STRTETCH ANYTHING FOOL!! you have an injury that needs care not ignorance. Treat it as an inflammation of arthritic genus.

Go over what you ate recently that was different to normal and equate similar foods from your past, try and recall the least likely additives as well. Ditto everything else you remember doing different. I recall being tired (excessively even for me) and restless. I think I could have ameliorated my circumstances by not straining to finish a blog post. Yawning a lot is a symptom.

Being a British subject I am forced to obey globalist strictures which don't allow freedom of pain relief. A cruel and unusual punishment for old people in particular, one I would get out of illegally if I could.

I once several times had to suffer months of peritonitis leading to abscessing fistulae. This was entirely the fault of the British NHS. And my innocence. It is amazing how far out on a limb you can go in order to cut the branch down if you rely on fools. I never found quinine useful and to this day don't know the cure.

I seem to be managing with soda and colchicine and I have some pain killers handy. I am going to grow some poppy this year. I feel I would prosper on a diet used by people that don't suffer cramp. Which might be the same one used by people free from dementia or maybe not -as the case may be.

I was about to start looking for the first cause -which is astrometeoric, then I got sidelines.

https://youtu.be/poI4fFKLRZk?t=454
https://patient.info/forums/discuss/upper-thigh-muscle-cramps-216352
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/leg-cramps/treatment/
https://watchers.news/

Intensifying winter storm to hit Rockies to Northern Plains and Upper Midwest

December 04, 2017
Strong and shallow M6.0 earthquake near the coast of Ecuador

December 03, 2017
Major flooding after record-breaking rains hit Victoria and NSW, Australia

December 02, 2017
Major flooding hits Albania, paralyzing ports and suspending air traffic

December 01, 2017
400 000 affected, 5 killed in southern Thailand floods

December 01, 2017
Strong and shallow M6.1 earthquake hits Iran, dozens of aftershocks

December 01, 2017
Heavy rainfall floods Hawaii, early season snowfall at volcanic peaks

November 30, 2017

The year ends with the first and last supermoon of the year, the first of 3 over the next 60 days, one royal meteor shower, and December solstice. Hopefully, this year made us all stronger, wiser and ready for what's to come in 2018 and beyond.

December 1 - Asteroid 349 Dembowska at opposition - 08:21 UTC. Asteroid 349 Dembowska will be well placed for observation, lying in the constellation Taurus, well above the horizon for much of the night. Regardless of your location on the Earth, 349 Dembowska will reach its highest point in the sky at around midnight local time.

December 3 - Full Moon, Supermoon - 15:48 UTC. The Moon will be located on the opposite side of the Earth as the Sun and its face will be will be fully illuminated. This is the first and only supermoon in 2017. It will take place unusually close to the time of a month when the Moon also makes its closest approach to Earth - called its perigee. This means it will appear slightly larger and brighter than other times, though any difference is imperceptible to the naked eye. Perigee full moons such as this occur roughly once every 13 months.This full moon was known by early Native American tribes as the Full Cold Moon because this is the time of year when the cold winter air settles in and the nights become long and dark. This moon has also been known as the Full Long Nights Moon and the Moon Before Yule.

December 6 - Conjunction of Saturn and Mercury - 11:07 UTC. Saturn and Mercury will share the same right ascension, with Saturn passing 1°21' to the north of Mercury. Saturn will be at mag 0.4, and Mercury at mag 1.3, both in the constellation Sagittarius. The pair will be too widely separated to fit within the field of view of a telescope but will be visible to the naked eye or through a pair of binoculars.

December 7 - Puppid-Velid meteor shower. This is a minor meteor shower (Class II), running annually from December 1 - 17. Its peak activity this year is expected on December 7 with up to 18 meteors per hour. The moon will be 19 days old, presenting significant interference in the pre-dawn sky.

December 9 - C/2015 F5 (SWAN-Xingming) at perihelion. Comet C/2015 F5 (SWAN-Xingming) will make its closest approach to the Sun, at a distance of 0.78 AU.

December 9 - C/2015 F5 (SWAN-Xingming) reaches its brightest. Comet C/2015 F5 (SWAN-Xingming) will reach its brightest, at around magnitude 10.4. It will lie at a distance of 0.78 AU from the Sun, and at a distance of 1.03 AU from the Earth.

December 10 - Moon at Last Quarter - 08:53 UTC. The Moon will be prominent in the dawn sky, rising at around midnight. Over the coming days, it will rise later each day, so it is visible for less time before sunrise. Perfect for the upcoming Geminid meteor shower.

December 12 - LMC well placed for observation. Across much of the world the Milky Way's dwarf companion, the Large Magellanic Cloud (LMC), in Dorado will be well placed for observation. It will reach its highest point in the sky at around midnight local time. At a declination of -69°45', it is easiest to see from the southern hemisphere but cannot be seen from latitudes much north of 0°N. At magnitude 0.9, LMC is visible to the naked eye, but best viewed through a pair of binoculars.

December 13 - Mercury at inferior solar conjunction - 01:43 UTC. Mercury will pass very close to the Sun in the sky as its orbit carries it between the Sun and Earth. This occurs once in every synodic cycle of the planet (116 days) and marks the end of Mercury's apparition in the evening sky and its transition to become a morning object over the next few weeks. At closest approach, Mercury will appear at a separation of only 1°43' from the Sun, making it totally unobservable for several weeks while it is lost in the Sun's glare. Mercury will also pass perigee – the time when it is closest to the Earth – at around the same time since it will lie on exactly the same side of the Sun as the Earth in the Solar System. It will move to within a distance of 0.68 AU from the Earth, making it appear with its largest angular size. If it could be observed, it would measure 9.9 arcsec in diameter, whilst appearing completely unilluminated.

December 13 - Conjunction of the Moon and Mars - 16:29 UTC. The Moon and Mars will share the same right ascension, with the Moon passing 4°09' to the north of Mars. The Moon will be 25 days old. At around the same time, the two objects will also make a close approach, technically called an appulse. The Moon will be at mag -10.8, and Mars at mag 1.6, both in the constellation Virgo. The pair will be too widely separated to fit within the field of view of a telescope but will be visible to the naked eye or through a pair of binoculars.

December 13 - Close approach of the Moon and Mars - 19:14 UTC. The Moon and Mars will make a close approach, passing within 3°56' of each other. The Moon will be at mag -10.7, and Mars at mag 1.6, both in the constellation Virgo. The pair will be too widely separated to fit within the field of view of a telescope but will be visible to the naked eye or through a pair of binoculars.

December 13, 14 - Geminids Meteor Shower. This is a major, Class I meteor shower - the king of meteor showers. Considered by many as the best meteor shower and producing up to 120 multicolored meteors per hour, Geminids are leftovers of an asteroid known as 3200 Phaethon, discovered in 1982. It runs annually from December 7 - 17, and peaks this year on the night of December 13 and the morning of the 14th. The Moon will be 26 days old at the time of peak activity, presenting minimal interference. To see the most meteors, the best place to look is not directly at the radiant itself, but at any dark patch of sky which is around 30–40° away from it. It is at a distance of around this distance from the radiant that meteors will show reasonably long trails without being too spread out.

December 14 - NGC 1981 well placed for observation. The open star cluster NGC 1981 in Orion's sword will be well placed for observation. It will reach its highest point in the sky at around midnight local time. At a declination of -04°25', it is visible across much of the world; it can be seen at latitudes between 65°N and 74°S. At magnitude 4.6, NGC1981 is too faint to be seen with the naked eye from any but the very darkest sites but is visible through a pair of binoculars or a small telescope.

December 14 - Conjunction of the Moon and Jupiter - 14:27 UTC. The Moon and Jupiter will share the same right ascension, with the Moon passing 4°14' to the north of Jupiter. The Moon will be 26 days old. At around the same time, the two objects will also make a close approach, technically called an appulse. The Moon will be at mag -10.3, and Jupiter at mag -1.8, both in the constellation Libra. The pair will be too widely separated to fit within the field of view of a telescope but will be visible to the naked eye or through a pair of binoculars.

December 14 - Close approach of the Moon and Jupiter - 16:58 UTC. The Moon and Jupiter will make a close approach, passing within 4°03' of each other. The Moon will be at mag -10.2, and Jupiter at mag -1.8, both in the constellation Libra. The pair will be too widely separated to fit within the field of view of a telescope but will be visible to the naked eye or through a pair of binoculars.

December 17 - Asteroid 20 Massalia at opposition - 17:45 UTC. Asteroid 20 Massalia will be well placed for observation, lying in the constellation Taurus, well above the horizon for much of the night. Regardless of your location on the Earth, 20 Massalia will reach its highest point in the sky at around midnight local time.

December 18 - New Moon - 06:32 UTC. The Moon will be located on the same side of the Earth as the Sun and will not be visible in the night sky. This is the best time of the month to observe faint objects such as galaxies and star clusters because there is no moonlight to interfere.

December 21 - December Solstice - 16:16 UTC. December 21 will be the shortest day of 2017 in the northern hemisphere, midwinter day. This is the day of the year when the Sun's annual path through the constellations of the zodiac reaches its most southerly point in the sky, in the constellation of Capricornus at a declination of 23.5°S. On this day, the Sun is above the horizon for the less time than on any other day of the year in the northern hemisphere. This is counted by astronomers to be the first day of winter. Conversely, in the southern hemisphere, the Sun is above the horizon for longer than on any other day of the year, and astronomers define this day to be the first day of summer. At the solstice, the Sun appears overhead at noon when observed from locations on the tropic of Capricorn, at a latitude 23.5°S.

December 21 - Saturn at solar conjunction - 21:12 UTC. Saturn will pass very close to the Sun in the sky as its orbit carries it around the far side of the solar system from the Earth. At closest approach, Saturn will appear at a separation of only 0°54' from the Sun, making it totally unobservable for several weeks while it is lost in the Sun's glare. At around the same time, Saturn will also be at its most distant from the Earth – receding to a distance of 11.05 AU – since the two planets will lie on opposite sides of the solar system. If Saturn could be observed at this time, it would appear at its smallest and faintest on account of its large distance. It would measure 15.0 arcsec in diameter. Over following weeks and months, Saturn will re-emerge to the west of the Sun, gradually becoming visible for ever-longer periods in the pre-dawn sky. After around six months, it will reach opposition, when it will be visible for virtually the whole night.

December 21, 22 - Ursid Meteor Shower. This is another major meteor shower - Class I -  but it's producing between 5 and 10 meteors per hour. It is produced by dust grains left behind by comet Tuttle, which was first discovered in 1790. The shower runs annually from December 17 - 24 and this year It peaks this year on the night of the 21st and morning of the 22nd. The crescent moon will set early in the evening leaving dark skies for optimal observing. Best viewing will be just after midnight from a dark location far away from city lights. Meteors will radiate from the constellation Ursa Minor, but can appear anywhere in the sky.

December 26 - Moon at First Quarter - 09:22 UTC. The Moon will be prominent in the evening sky, setting around midnight. At this time in its monthly cycle of phases, it appears almost exactly half illuminated. Over coming days, the Moon will set later each day, becoming visible for more of the night. Within a few days, it will not make it very far above the eastern horizon before nightfall. By the time it reaches full phase, it will be visible for much of the night, rising at around dusk and setting at around dawn.

December 27 - NGC 2232 well placed for observations. The open star cluster NGC 2232 in Monoceros will be well placed for observation. It will reach its highest point in the sky at around midnight local time. At a declination of -04°45', it is visible across much of the world; it can be seen at latitudes between 65°N and 74°S. At magnitude 3.9, NGC2232 is tricky to make out with the naked eye except from a dark site but is visible through a pair of binoculars or a small telescope.

December 28 - Mercury at dichotomy - 23:23 UTC. Mercury will be well placed for observation in the dawn sky, shining brightly at mag -0.2. Mercury's orbit lies closer to the Sun than the Earth's, meaning that it always appears close to the Sun and is very difficult to observe most of the time. It is observable only for a few days each time it reaches greatest separation from the Sun – moments referred to as greatest elongation.

December 29 - NGC 2244 well placed for observation. The open star cluster NGC 2244, in the rosette nebula in Monoceros will be well placed for observation. It will reach its highest point in the sky at around midnight local time. At a declination of +04°52', it is visible across much of the world; it can be seen at latitudes between 74°N and 65°S. At magnitude 4.8, NGC2244 is too faint to be seen with the naked eye from any but the very darkest sites but is visible through a pair of binoculars or a small telescope.

Make of these what you will remember to compare them on an hexagon of 00 to 06 hours. I heard the faint clicks from tinnitus that indicates ensuing Greenland Highs:

Volcanoes Today, 4 Dec 2017: Fuego volcano, Dukono, Agung, Reventador, Sakurajima, Sabancaya
Mon, 4 Dec 2017, 11:00

Bear in mind that the USA is indiscriminately experimenting with terror weapons when considering these singularities:

Note the dates they dissipate.

There is a repetitive refrain with the warm fronts

Notice how this Norwegian Low enlarges. I have asked or help from a Linux community to get some charts posted of the solar system. (Not helped.)

Notice how the NA-EFS charts are slow to load -particularly every other one no doubt indicative of eruptions or quakes or both.

Quick change.

To eruption sequence.

Continuum est?

One way to indicate terror weapon use is to rebuild these charts for periods where we know they have been used.

https://youtu.be/OYZ4GDjmHsc?t=777

 Shall I post more?

Manoeuvers

President Trump has asked my opinion of his strategy. I gave him full marks and told him why: I know what he up against http://weatherlawyer.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/5-december-2017.html

He asked for a donation to keep up the good work which I could not with good conscience do as a British citizen and a Christian, since Christians have no side in any war or political dispute. Yes we are on the same side that Jesus is on against his lost brothers but standing orders are for us to keep out of the way and let the people who know what they are doing handle things.

Anyway the history of aggression against Israel began awith the deportation of Smarit the people of Samaritan Israelites who decided to break away from the federal government in Judea. They were deported by the Assyrians and later came under the government of Babylon that replaced the Assyrians when their attack on Judea caused disintegration.

The Assyrian amies were denied water from local sources and some 150,000 of them died of cholera. These men ware not the largest part of Assyrias forces butthey were commanding officers called to draw up the plans of the attack.

The Assyrians had to withdraw and there was a coup against the king.
Nebuchadnezzar took over from them and succeeded in emptying Judea and also most of the region except for Tyre. In those days the political tactic was to invade a tribal territory and kill all the males for opposing the invasion. Deprtation to break further opposition was tactic for dealing with males who agreed to handing ove governmental control.

The permitted families to stay together but political power was maintained under foreign vassals. The same method was employed by Rome in Britain and it is a remarkable too. It is not one that President Trump can use. He is even hapered from acting against the Clintons and the "Deep State", intead he is using subterfuge appearing to be all things to all men, something that can only work for a limited time.

But it would seem to be enough. He is not causing the splits in his country in fact it appears he is still hoping to make people see reason. I think that a daftness will drive a majority of the opponents to his government to making gross perhaps even treasonous war against the USA. I am basing this forecast on the fact the the disunity can not be healed if only one side wants it.

The only real alternative is to exile and erase opponents. Maybe the dmise of the Clintons will help. But the seep state will remain.

Icybars

When a giant cyclone encases Antarctica:

It means god loves us and cares for lost souls whose lives are as miserable as mine that finds us out in the middle of the night looking for signs.

So do you suppose he will tell us before too long what the hell they mean?
I don't want to be pushy and give the idea I don't love this job, but some sort of an idea would help. Is it where the inner cores set up?

Isobars crossing into the region of the Antarctic anticyclones, perhaps?
Something to ponder as I fall asleep, no doubt.

"There is no way to predict how this eruption will evolve. It may dampen down or evolve into a very big eruption.
The last major eruption of this volcano started on January 18, 1963 and ended January 27, 2017. It had Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) of 5 (out of 7) and was responsible for deaths of nearly 1 600 people."

When I was three score years or so I wanted to understand, what contamination defined pronunciation in a distant land.
My father died, my mother too, shit happens they passed, so will me and you.

No man understands Popocatapetl it was once safe to say.
Nor who what vectors stream.No man had heard the master's voice, nor far-off trumpets scream.

Another three score; how had Agung stolen them away?
The great river Great River roars an hurricane pours
And now I have this to say:

The four horsemen are a myriad Myriad strong and the penance thy bring is not everlasting destruction, merely a timely warning to wash away errors, or do you imagine Jehovah and Son have waited all this time just to kill mankind?

No!
It is to help us they ride, The Apocalypse is a message of salvation and the signal for great enlightenment. But let me tell you how Gog and Magog work; they are the sword that once sat at the entrance to Eden. In the same way the British Emperor wears the finest of finery so light that only a child can't see it. And his daughter was immune to all but peeping Tom, when she rode out.

But there was once a British Empire, in case anyone doubts and it grew to be the formidable one of the Kings that were from the North, British, the French and the German, back in the day when they were all the same seed.

And it is true that the kings of Cornwall held the tin from which all copper weapons were made and he went on to be the King of the Sixth Head of the Image that was foretold by Daniel that was Bel Tsar from a dream that Nebuco had.

I am sorry about this mythalogicalology nonsense but the mindless prostution of thoughtful idiots on places like for example Reddit:
https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/1warvr/eli5how_exactly_does_iron_beat_bronze/ beggars belief.

Even as late in the history of the iron age as the Israelite Kings, the Ideal tools were wood and stone. Such weapons were an easily garnered utility that could be fashioned by the "home team" for a hastily raised militia who only required leadership and a knowledge of the local conditions to control the logistics of a battle.

Up until the middle of the 19th century Iron was a superior weapon if it was made of the Damamascene process which is why the Land of the Promise was promised to contain iron rather than copper or bronze. It made no diference to the arrowsmith if his arrows were tipped with brass or iron.

What mattered with arrows is that they couldn't be sent back by the enmy before being reworked.

Nor was the prospect of carting stone half-bricks and discusses over long distances inland considered a logistical technique for winners, where even a rudimentary castle was all the home side needed to rally to while the invading troops ran out of water.

A steel blade could be forged out of a bar of iron and a bar of nickel/iron alloy but such a short range weapon was not a WMD against a militia with wooden spears, backed up with bows carrying half a dozen stones. And although an iron tool of that kind could be fashioned by the village black-smith such a weapon was an expensive tool, compared to a bow and a box of arrows.

What is needed to act against the army of cavalry described in The Book of Revelation is the weaponry we have seen on display in the Navy of Texas militiamen who by force of arms stood againt the forces of darkness arrayed against them: NEIGHBORLINESS.

It is a weapon against which nuclear armament fails. And it is a weapon that the Midwestern states is famous for! And is those that use it who wield the rod of iron by which the person in overall command of the Christians is making a judgement of the sheep and the goats.

5 December 2017

There appears to be a lot of spin going on in the NA-EFS, so unless I have missed anything there will be more tornadoes. I have no idea where. I can hear something sizzling and presume it is tornadoes building the next eruption but I am not god.

https://weather.gc.ca/ensemble/naefs/cartes_e.html

https://youtu.be/1k1ccguXiws?t=184 5 December 2017 looks interesting let's hear what Celestia says. A little help here, lads?

https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/public/weather/surface-pressure/#?tab=surfacePressureColour&fcTime=1441929600

I am unfamiliar with this set up.

I can only guess it must be a continuation of the major eruption in Arung.

https://watchers.news/2017/11/27/agung-eruption-shifts-to-magmatic-alert-level-at-highest-lahars-100-000-evacuating/

Around 100 000 residents near Agung, Indonesia have been told to evacuate after phreatic eruptions. Lahars prompted authorities to raise the alert to highest. Residents and tourists are warned to stay away. Continuous volcanic ash up to 9.1 km (30 000 feet). There are currently no flights in or out of Bali.
+                                                                                                   +

Whatever it is it looks like it will still be here when the run ends.

Until at last, warm front separation is achieved?

And then what?
On Thursday afternoon, what I would have said in the good old days, looks like a Magnitude 7+ eruption is going to occur:

What I used to look for, IIRC, was an occluded front "broaching" or coming ashore. Usually as they leave the sea-bed and transition to the sial from the sima crossing the continental shelf they release their energy.

Actually, what happens is that somewhere else gets the epicentre and the relatively deep Low in the south of Norway dissipates. If you want to go earthquake chasing, the epicentre will be some 80 degrees from the eye of the storm.

Check a few hours before the due date to see what the closest prediction can be made on the chat but remember that other agencies will also be forecasting this, for example NOAA:

Perhaps they provide a better service than the MetO in that they have a larger data set and might supply a cross reference for the location. At the moment 80 degrees from the one eye could be Tokyo, Rat Island or Concepción, Chile.

I would love to be able to spend more time second guessing god but I have been doing this for the past 5 or 6 hours now and I have limits. I haven't even looked at half of the few charts I manage on more straight-forward forecasts.
F'rinstance the super-storm in the tropics has to die first:

How 'bout that?
How far is that from the North Atlantic Low 969mb, near Norway/Sweden/Baltic?

I can't possibly cover it all. Maybe I should beg my master to send out more workers to the field but if the buggers are not out in the field already, I can't use you. Meet me half way and I'll see.

How far is Ochi from where I said?
90°+?
So will they both fade withe the quake?

I wonder what it could be like to have a real life. Keep regular hours, have friends, eat properly. Go to bed like everyone else?

***

It is still still and gloomy with a hint of mist (in the heat-island effect of Stoke on Trent's once famously polluted skies.) I was writing a blog about a couple or three months ago in which I was going to show you the "butterfly effect" that is a problem with all forecast scharts. This is a good time to finish the job.

When a major geo-phenomena such as a swarm series, a large earthquake or a volcanic eruption takes place, the associated standing wave or blocked system will clear. With this case the cyclone will fill as the legs of the occlusion over-run (close) when the two air masses meet.

The warm air separates and rise above the colder one. Presumably the mixing that follows allows the temperatures to balance without forming the inversions that arrive with volcanic activity. However this stuff is highly unstable and vents with the development of a great deal of energy.

The energy generated is in the order of magnitude 5.5 or greater, popularly compared to the energy released in thousands of tons of high explosive but the same values is reached whether the energy is petrol, paraffin or diesel all of which have more or less the same value as TNT. (Slightly less as the octane drops but substantially similar.)

See how I get side tracked all the time. What an idiot! I want to dot all the tease and cross all the eyes. Wife wanted, must be perfect!

Where was I?
That's right about to go out, for strange as it may seem I do have a life -a limited one these days. I'll run over the chhrts once more when I get back if I get back.

Synergy

Two consecutive lunar phases this spell. The only difference between the effect it has on the weather is that the declination of the moon is going to be a quarter of the orbit that can mean a swing from top to bottom or in this case from bottom to top. The moon will appear highest over its horizon on the 6th.

This affects temperature just as surely as the month of the year affects the sun, something that should not escape the statisticians in Meteorology. It has been bitterly cold but now with the same condition it is getting warmer and along with warmth the potential to increased earthquake magnitudes or numbers.

I am tired and my spelling is atrocious so I am off to bed. To be continued...

...I won't sleep unless I show you this:

The upsets from a Greenland High continue and should include radio interference along with Internet disruption, for fear I never mentioned that previously. I have asked about this stuff on a few forums but apart from stonewalling trolls there is no advocacy about looking at massively deficient coding -specifically JavaScript but obviously Flash as the worst offender.

It is odd that not one of these two are much more powerful storms:

Moreover it is doubly strange that  the previous spell did not have any tropical storms. Does that absence have any bearing on the mechanisms behind these things?
Just something to ponder over in my sleep.

An increase in magnitudes and a decrease in VEI obvioulsy?
https://watchers.news/
What do you think?

My mind isn't even on this, I can't think of anything new. It is going to be hard on lots of people. I have tried (uselessly) to say my part, wasting my breath I believe. But if I concentrated on getting a peer revierd paper in a suitable geo-physics forum it might get a better hearing from the people not running most counties as efficiently as they might.
What else can I do?

And we are back...

There is nothing quite says !!Volcanic Eruption!! as decisively as a gloomy damp morning is there?

It reminds me me of the conditions in the spell that ended with the death of Christ. The house of mourning is better than the day of birth:

Graham Chapman, co-author of the 'Parrot Sketch,' is no more.

He has ceased to be, bereft of life, he rests in peace, he has kicked the bucket, hopped the twig, bit the dust, snuffed it, breathed his last, and gone to meet the Great Head of Light Entertainment in the sky, and I guess that we're all thinking how sad it is that a man of such talent, such capability and kindness, of such intelligence should now be so suddenly spirited away at the age of only forty-eight, before he'd achieved many of the things of which he was capable, and before he'd had enough fun.

Well, I feel that I should say, "Nonsense. Good riddance to him, the free-loading bastard! I hope he fries. "

And the reason I think I should say this is, he would never forgive me if I didn't, if I threw away this opportunity to shock you all on his behalf. Anything for him but mindless good taste. I could hear him whispering in my ear last night as I was writing this:

"Alight, Cleese, you're very proud of being the first person to ever say 'shit' on television. If this service is really for me, just for starters, I want you to be the first person ever at a British memorial service to say 'fuck'!"

You see, the trouble is, I can't. If he were here with me now I would probably have the courage, because he always emboldened me. But the truth is, I lack his balls, his splendid defiance. And so I'll have to content myself instead with saying 'Betty Mardsen...'

But bolder and less inhibited spirits than me follow today. Jones and Idle, Gilliam and Palin. Heaven knows what the next hour will bring in Graham's name. Trousers dropping, blasphemers on pogo sticks, spectacular displays of high-speed farting, synchronised incest. One of the four is planning to stuff a dead ocelot and a 1922 Remington typewriter up his own arse to the sound of the second movement of Elgar's cello concerto. And that's in the first half.

Because you see, Gray would have wanted it this way. Really. Anything for him but mindless good taste. And that's what I'll always remember about him -apart, of course, from his Olympian extravagance. He was the prince of bad taste. He loved to shock. In fact, Gray, more than anyone I knew, embodied and symbolised all that was most offensive and juvenile in Monty Python. And his delight in shocking people led him on to greater and greater feats. I like to think of him as the pioneering beacon that beat the path along which fainter spirits could follow.

Some memories. I remember writing the undertaker speech with him and him suggesting the punch line, 'All right, we'll eat her but if you feel bad about it afterwards, we'll dig a grave and you can throw up into it.' I remember discovering in 1969, when we wrote every day at the flat where Connie Booth and I lived, that he'd recently discovered the game of printing four-letter words on neat little squares of paper and then quietly placing them at strategic points around our flat, forcing Connie and me into frantic last minute paper chases whenever we were expecting important guests.
 
I remember him at BBC parties crawling around on all fours, rubbing himself affectionately against the legs of grey-suited executives and delicately nibbling the more appetizing female calves. Mrs. Eric Morecambe remembers that too.

I remember his being invited to speak at the Oxford union, and entering the chamber dressed as a carrot -a full length orange tapering costume with a large, bright green sprig as a hat and then, when his turn came to speak, refusing to do so. He just stood there, literally speechless, for twenty minutes, smiling beatifically. The only time in world history that a totally silent man has succeeded in inciting a riot.

I remember Graham receiving a Sun newspaper TV award from Reggie Maudling. Who else! And taking the trophy falling to the ground and crawling all the way back to his table, screaming loudly, as loudly as he could. And if you remember Gray, that was very loud indeed.

It is magnificent, isn't it?

You see, the thing about shock... is not that it upsets some people, I think; I think that it gives others a momentary joy of liberation, as we realised in that instant that the social rules that constrict our lives so terribly are not actually very important.

Well, Gray can't do that for us any more. He's gone. He is an ex-Chapman. All we have of him now are our memories. But it will be some time before they fade.

  

Well that's enough of that, now for something suspiciously similar:

http://www.cardinalfang.net/misc/chapman_memorial.html

yore having a laugh

Pow wow chow li beth warn su sham po kong hong ki.


Couldn't resist the idea is that Elizabeth Warren, because she copied and pasted a recipe for crab, got to be a Professor (or is that professer?) It sounds a bit like a red herring but does a lie about herr Herring's heritage constitute fraud?
Someone made the comment that he is a Chinaman if she is a Cherokee.
Here's the kicker:


I was watching the memorial to Graham Chapman for an extra dose of surreality
Gechocktaw surreality here, folks:

Come on frau, be a man and tell us. What were you taking besides liberties?